Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
