I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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