Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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