I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
