listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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