I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
