you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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