haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
