I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
