went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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