Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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