she was so not down for the gang bang
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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