is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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