it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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