so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
