I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
