So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
