absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
