Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
