pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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