but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize