I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
