so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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