yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
