im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
