if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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