Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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