Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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