I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
