Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize