i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
