the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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