I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
