Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im at strip club and am horny
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Randomize
