Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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