Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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