he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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