she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
