I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
