The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have post one night stand depression
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