Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If its not for food we ain't going out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
