Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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