Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
