you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
