she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
