community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
