Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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