I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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