what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
