Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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