Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
