Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
