Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
