Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
