i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
