Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
