I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize