you guys were way drunker than both of me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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