i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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